I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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