there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
