One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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