Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
...so i touched it.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Randomize
