508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
