$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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