it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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