so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
