Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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