I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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