I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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