put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
