You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
