wrigley field is MILF paradise
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize