He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
