so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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