They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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