I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
