i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
