You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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