And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
