The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize