I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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