i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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