after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize