I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize