I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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