Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize