you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
