You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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