I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
How external is "for external use only"?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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