Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
