Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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