so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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