dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
