The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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