Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
