It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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