i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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