I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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