I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize