I accidentally burped into my bong.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Randomize
