the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
