I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
