i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
