I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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