What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
