trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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