just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
