I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
