I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
