The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
