your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
