idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
