I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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