i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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