is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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