Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
